Depend on No One

In this world you cant depend on no one. NO ONE. when i say no one i mean no one. Not one person. I'm tired of everybody who says they're gone do something for me, and then they dont. Thats why I try to stick to my word. Cuz i know how much I hate that shit, so i know other people hate it. Thats why I'm going to the Guard. Cuz I gotta do for Brittany. No one can look out for me the way I can look out for me. I gotta grow up, & branch out. Im so tired of having to depend on people & getting let down. March 30th that will all change if its the Lord's Will.

Small rant, but this is how i'm feeling. I feel so... idk. I'm just ready to be my own woman & stop depending on people. I'm so ready to have my own income. My own apartment, my own car, my own space, my own everything. Fuck everything else. Thats my main focus for 2010. Mark my words by the end of 2010, I will have my own of everything I just mentioned.

its official

its official. i am a member of the Kentucky Army National Guard. I leave for basic the end of March. God is good.

What Would It Be Like?

Its 8:41 AM & i have slept a total of 9 hours the past two days. But hey that's life. lol. but anyways i am looking on this website called blackcelebritykids.com. I love that website. It has news and pics of all the little babies and the teenagers as well. I cant help but to think what would life be like, if i was Diddy's daughter, or one of Russel's nieces. They never have to work a day in their life, ya know. Like it must be nice.

I always wondered how God assessed who got what life. Like how he picks out our life for us. I mean I will always have to work hard for any and everything i get. not that I'm complaining but i have accepted that fact in my life. No silver spoon, I'm eating with a plastic fork right now. Will this make me a better person in the long run? Better yet, will it even matter? Random questions from a very random person.

All this, is just what it seems. I learned today that another girl in my high school class is pregnant. I'm pretty sure there are only 3 of us who don't have a baby (or babies in some cases). Half had their babies during high school and the other half right after. Crazy. (this is crazy too: www.bit.ly/c95e3Q).

As much as I want kids (only two, a boy and a girl), I refuse to bring my child into this world without being properly cared for. I want my child to have it all and to never have to want for anything.

I was thinking the other day, like gosh I'm gonna be an old mom. But I'd rather be that, that be a young mom struggling to make ends meet. My child WILL have a wonderful life that I'm sure. I pray every night that when I do procreate my child will come out with ten fingers ten toes and disease free.

All this goes to say, have you ever wondered about what life would be like if you were filthy rich? would you want that life? are you satisfied with your life?
Talk to me.